Recently, my 3 month old daughter had a seizure.
It was terrifying.
BUT, I prayed and deep in my heart I believed this would never happen again. MY mind never even went there. This was a crazy fluke one-time thing.
And that was that. Faith. That’s what I called it.
Then, it happened. Seizure #2.
So what happens now, in these moments when we desperately pray and we believe with our whole hearts, and still God does not answer?
What about my grandpa, who died early, even though I urgently begged God and believed that he would be healed on this earth?
And, what about my friend Matt, who got in a car accident and is parlayed from the waist down, even though I have cried out to God for his healing hundreds of times?
And, what about that little boy I know who died of brain cancer, even though I prayed believing my God could heal his broken body?
And, that girl I went to high school with whose medical tests came back with worse case scenario results, instead of the answer I had been praying for?
I mean, my list could go on and on.
SO, what now?
What happens in those moments when you have prayed your guts out and your faith is so big you just know God will do what you ask…. But then, He doesn’t?
I will be honest and say it’s an extremely hard place to be. Because I know the Scripture about asking in faith and receiving, And the verse that says if you have faith, even the tiniest amount, you can tell the mountain to move and God will move it.
I’ve heard the sermons. Read the books.
But, here I am. The answer that I asked for slid right through my fingers and I’m left standing before my maker with empty hands.
To be honest, I don’t get it. I don’t understand the WHY.
So, now, what do I say about this God that I serve? The One who didn’t do what I thought He would.
If you’ve been in this situation where you asked, and you believed, and then you were left stunned by the response God gave, you know that there isn’t a good answer.
I could get mad. Try to reason. Cry my heart out. Get discouraged. All of which I have done already.
And then, I can say this of my God. I trust Him. I don’t understand Him. I wish with all my heart He would have answered the way I wanted Him to.
Regardless, I trust Him.
Why? I guess because I KNOW Him. I KNOW His love. I KNOW the way He graciously and intricately has planned out my life, each of our lives. I KNOW that He is GOOD, and faithful. I know that I am only getting the smallest glimpse of the big picture story that is being written.
SO, today, if you are like me, and you asked, but God said no, or not yet, or I’m doing something else instead, I encourage you to trust Him. Get mad, cry, tell Him you’re frustrated. BUT then, TRUST HIM.
Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the Lord is right and true. He is faithful in all He does.”