“You are my everything, ” the card simply read those four little words. What a sweet sentiment! I thought little of the true meaning behind those words and quickly added a few sentiments of my own followed by my signature.
The card was well spoken and kind, but it wasn’t until later that I looked at the words and pondered what they really meant. And, as I pondered those words I realized that I couldn’t possible REALLY mean them, not in their fullness.
My husband is a extremely big part of my life. He owns my heart as much as any one person possibly could! My world in many ways is directly reliant and intertwined with his. He is the Father of my children. He is the one who carries the financial responsibility for our family. We work alongside of one another to build our home, our family, and our future.
There is very little in my life that he is not in some way a part of.
However, that being said, my husband is NOT my everything.
I don’t want him to be. And, he should also sincerely hope that he is not.
Because the thing is, my husband is a human, and my guess is your spouse probably is as well! Like all humans, he is broken. He doesn’t work quite like he would have back in that original garden. He is not perfect.
The reality is I cannot count on my husband to fulfill me, not fully.
He cannot be the one I look to at the end of the day to wipe away all my worries and fix all my stress.
My husband is not THE ONE who makes me happy, not him solely.
And, though my husband knows me well, he does not know me fully. He does not understand me fully.
I cannot count on him to meet all of my needs each day.
Because if I do, many days I will be disappointed. If I rely on him to fill my emptiness, and fulfill all my needs, I will be left hopeless. Always wanting more. Always let down by his humanity.
There have been times in my marriage that I looked to my husband to be my everything, and I was sorely disappointed.
Because, I tried to make him my God, and he is not God.
No matter how GREAT of a guy he is, no matter how often he goes out of his way to make me happy, or to meet my expectations, he is still human. He will still fall short.
ONLY my God can be my everything. He is the one who never fails me. He is the one who never forsakes me, not once. He is the one who can fill me and fulfill me. The one who’s love never waivers, never fails. He is the one whose’ bad days do not lead him to anger with me, and whose opinion of me is not waivered by even my worst moments. He is the one who carries my burdens. The only one who could ever know me fully, and understand this heart of mine that He created.
God has blessed me with a husband, a companion, a friend who walks with me on this journey. The one who I become one with. BUT, when I try to make that man my everything, I lose hope, because he cannot be.
So, do yourself and your spouse a favor, choose NOT to make them your’ everything!
Choose to let God be your’ everything and then you can enjoy your spouse even when they don’t meet your expectations, even when they forget that anniversary, or say those unkind words, or find themselves lost in the midst of their own brokenness.
God is still there, being EVERYTHING you could possibly need!
Psalm 118:8 “ It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”