Recently I received a message from a good friend of mine, a friend who has introduced her first tiny child into this world. The question she asked was simple, but among those simple words I could hear her silent cry for hope. “How?” she asked. How do I do this mom thing, and do this wife thing? How do I still be myself when I am so engulfed in being a mom right now? How can I be balanced? How does my life move forward from here?
These were the questions I heard amidst her simple words.
And, although she is just one mom, I felt the words that were spoken deserve to be shared with every new momma.
SO, mother of that precious new baby, dear exhausted momma, these are the words I want you to hear today:
What you are experiencing feels everything but normal, but I promise you that it is. It is normal to feel the way that you feel. It is OK. You just welcomed the most precious gift into the world. You just gave life to a tiny human being. That is amazing, and valuable, and beautiful. Be proud!
So now what? First, let me say, momma, please, please, please, cut yourself some slack! Release your expectations. You are on a new journey. One that you have waited for your whole life, but never experienced for a moment. You are learning how to nurture and love, and meet the needs of this little person. You are now responsible for the life of another.
It’s OK if you’re unsure. It’s OK if sometimes you’re scared. It’s OK. You are doing GREAT!
Your body is changing, and your hormones are changing, and let’s face it, your life is officially changing. It’s changed.
You are likely exhausted. You may feel happy, or you may feel sad, or you may be unable to comprehend fully what you really feel. Again, it’s OK.
Don’t worry about what Nancy is doing, or your friend Susie. Don’t worry about what your grandma says or your aunt says, or that stranger at the checkout counter says. YOU ARE the Momma here, and you are doing great!
Allow yourself to rest, and don’t feel obligated to live up to the expectations of others. Only you know how you feel, body, mind, and soul. Get healthy, whatever that means for you, NOT what that means for this society or your workplace, or for any other person!
The truth is your life will never go back to the way it was, and you may never feel again like the person that you were. But, that’s ok too, because these miraculous, exhausting, beautiful, and stressful days are life-changing.
You are doing GREAT momma. You are doing great! Hold your head up high. You are changing the world one long exhausting night at a time. You can do it!