I sit at the counter, amongst the clutter of my kitchen, clearly left un-cleaned in the chaos of this day. Silently I say, “Lord, help me make it through this day,” as I poor another cup of coffee. Between the good Lord and some coffee, surely I can make it through, I think.
I reflect on the nights that came before this day. Long, restless, interrupted nights. And, I wonder if a peaceful full nights rest will ever occur in this household again.
In the exhaustion of my day, I think about the lesson He has taught me thus far.
The moments, in the sheer darkness, when all else sleeps, but I sit up still, holding a sleepless child, and He reminds me of who He is in the beauty of His handiwork. The moments when I look at that intricately, perfectly formed infant and I am in awe of my Creator once again. The moments when I gazed into the darkness to see the twinkling of the stars He made and I see the mighty power of my God.
The hard moments, when I feel like I cannot go on any further, and He reminds me that it is in my weakness He is strong. And, so I keep going.
The moments when my weary heart and mind lacked the rest needed to function. What is a mom to do? He taught me to come before Him, for He gives rest to weary and He never fails to refresh my heart once more.
The moments where loving my children means discipline. Self-discipline for me, to do the hard things, the things that aren’t fun. To be consistent, and to teach life lessons, and to lead my children by example.
The moments where I cannot possibly deal with another fit, or another “mom!!”, or another mess, but I have to. And so, God gives me the patience that I did not know I had.
Through this journey of motherhood, the Lord is refining me.
Like the refining of a precious metal, He is piece by piece taking away the things that don’t belong.
He is taking my selfishness, my frustration, and my discontentment. He is replacing my lack of discipline, and my lack of peace, and my lack of patience.
In the midst of the heat, in those hard moments, He I making me better.
Yes, this motherhood journey is surely a process of being refined, becoming more like my Savior each day.
So, today, I thank Him for the hard moments, for the heat, and the hurt, and the lessons being learned along this path. For, He is making me what He created me to be.
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”