Sitting in the kitchen, sipping on my warm cup of coffee I begin to hear the all too familiar sound. The sound of bickering. My one year old and three year old are learning the hard way that having a sibling means sharing, and most days they aren’t fond of the idea.
I wait still in the early morning darkness, listening intently, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they will solve this dilemma on their own. However, I realize quickly that it’s not going to happen. Not today. So, I enter the room in full mommy mode and I talk to them. I talk to them about sharing and about being kind, and about not taking things from others. My little Jase shakes his head with his onery grin gleaming and takes off to find his next activity. My oldest, Riley, speaks up, “ok, mommy.” And they begin to go about their play time again.
But, not for long.
This time I enter the room to the sound of one screaming and the vision of the other hitting, pinching, and scratching. She is mad. “He took my toy!” she exclaimed.
And that’s when it happened. As I tried to clear up the situation, SMACK. She hit me.
In the moment, I was mad. And so I allowed myself to walk away and cool off before I dealt the discipline that I felt was necessary.
BUT, for me, that smack was more than just misbehaving. It was more than a disobedient tantrum throwing child (who I absolutely love and adore by the way).
In my logical thinking I knew that it simply was one of the lessons to be learned in life. I knew that she needed to be taught and so I must teach her. I knew that this fit throwing, feet kicking phase is simply that, a phase, and one that will soon pass.
BUT, in my fragile mommy heart, it hurt. My heart ached to see my child look me in the face and smack me. To think, that the one I love so deeply, the one who I literally give my very daily life for, would choose to hurt me.
Yes, she’s only 3. Yes, she doesn’t fully understand. But, Yes, it still hurt.
And so, I think about the one who loves me most. My Heavenly Father. The one who LITERALLY gave his life for me.
I think about the way he loves unfailingly, and the way He gives so generously to me, His child.
And then, I think about how often I have looked Him in the face and made a choice that hurt His Father heart. How often have I smacked Him in the face by the words I said or didn’t say, by the actions I took, or didn’t take?
I remember that He is teaching me. In His infinite wisdom and loving-kindness, He is reminding me of who He is and who I am.
He is reminding me to love as He loves. To bestow grace as He has given grace to me.
He is reminding me to make the choices that honor Him, the choices that fill his Father heart with joy.
He is reminding me of His sacrifice, and His goodness, and His ways that are faithful.
He is growing me today. In the midst of my hard mommy moments, He is shaping me.
Friends, live for your Heavenly Father today!
What lessons is He teaching you in the midst of your hard moments?
Romans 5:7-8 “For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”