You see, for months and months and months I have prayed.
For months and months and months I have asked the Lord for something very specific.
I committed and have been faithful to pray EVERY day. Without fail. Every. Single. Day.
I prayed. I asked the Lord to grant my request. I pleaded with Him.
I have this friend. She met Jesus and He changed her life. The person she once was, she no longer is. It is beautiful. It has been amazing to watch as the Lord has shaped her into the new creation He designed her to be.
BUT, it’s never quite that simple, is it? The consequences of her old self weren’t too far behind. And BOOM. It all exploded. New creation or not. Changed or not. What was done was done. And because of that she found herself in jail, separated from her beautiful baby girl, her family, her life as she knew it.
Yesterday was the day that we have anxiously awaited. Sentencing day.
In the back of my realistic mind, I knew. I knew that looking at the situation at hand, my request seemed crazy. Impossible.
I had been asking for God to bring her home. Like NOW.
I knew most people wouldn’t understand my request. I knew most people thought it was crazy to even think that could happen.
BUT I prayed. I poured out my heart to God. I SO desperately wanted to see a miracle. After all, I know my God. I knew He was capable. Powerful enough. Big enough. Awesome enough- To do even the thing that seemed unlikely, impossible, ridiculous.
But He didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong. The Lord was working. The outcome could have been much worse. He brought peace, even in the midst of the absolutely distraught circumstance.
BUT, He didn’t do that specific thing I asked for. SO, now what?
Was He listening? I know He was.
Did He not understand me? Of course He did.
Although, my heart is sad, I know He is still in control. I know His plan is better than mine. I know that He is STILL GOOD. He is STIIL FAITHFUL. He is STILL GOD.
How do I know this? Because I KNOW Him.
Sometimes, my unstable human heart cannot fathom the ways of my Heavenly Father. Sometimes, in my brokenness, I just don’t understand.
BUT, I don’t have to. Because when you know God, when you REALLY REALLY know Him, you know Hes got it. When you know His character, you know that He is without a doubt trustworthy. When you know the things that make Him God, you can’t help but say, “not my will but Yours”.
His ways are not my ways. No, they are much better, much wiser, much higher than I could ever think. He is God, and I am not.
And, today, even when I don’t understand, I give Him praise because He is working.
Isaiah 55:8 “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”