When we are young, we all have dreams. We dream of being an astronaut, an athlete, a famous musician. The possibilities are endless.
We dream about our spouse, what they will look like, who they will be. The magically romantic way they will treat us.
We dream about our family. Our perfect children. The ones who are polite, and dressed nicely, and never ever throw fits in Wal Mart.
We dream of our home. It’s beautiful and calm and joyfilled. AND in this dream there are no dirty dishes in the sink or goldfish crackers smashed into the freshly vacuumed carpet.
We dream of our life. The one where money is never tight. The one where meaningful friendships abound. The one where we are wildly successful, and happy, and healthy.
AND then, real life happens.
And our dreams don’t play out quite like we initially envisioned them.
AND now what?
I have a beautiful, amazing life, a husband who loves me, healthy kids, a home to live in. AND still I find myself at this intersection. This place of wishing and wanting. This place of “what ifs” and “if onlys”.
I’ve been here. Wallowing in the pride and discontentment of my heart.
AND I’ve been asking God to pull me out.
But, what I really needed to hear was what God spoke through my pastor yesterday, who ironically enough happens to be my dad.
Here’s the thing. God IS BIGGER than all of that.
NO, my life does not look quite like I saw it in those dreams. AND I wonder, “what if “ I would have pursued a different education, or started my career first, or waited to have babies, or lived more life before settling down, OR you fill in the blank….
The “what ifs” don’t really matter. You and I may think we have a plan, we are in control of our life, BUT the truth is GOD IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THAT.
Who am I to doubt my future based on the “what ifs” of my past? Who am I to think that I somehow could have come up with better for myself than what the Lord has for me? AND who am I to think HE is not big enough to fulfill my dreams as I look forward?
He is in control. He knows my past and He sees my future.
Life is not perfect. BUT I can keep dreaming because He is the keeper of my dreams and I have no doubt that His plan is wildly better than anything I could come up with on my own.
James 4:13-15 “ Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this city , spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘ if it is the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that’.”