Motherhood: Defining Our Kids


As a mom, I’ll just be honest. Sometimes my kids are BRATS. Sometimes they are disobedient. Sometimes they are rude, hateful, mean. Sometimes my kids make me cry, and NOT because of the sheer beauty of motherhood, you get what I’m saying here?

BUT, in all honesty, there are also many times that my children are sweet. They are kind. They can be helpful, and honest, and loving. There are times when my oldest will encourage her brother. There are days when their sweet, snuggly, love-ability is just overwhelmingly beautiful.

They are sinners. They aren’t perfect. But, they are good.

They are humans, just like you and me.

They have good days and bad days. They mess up. They do things they surely regret later.

Their little hearts have already been affected by the broken world we live in. But, most days, they are trying.

I recently have found myself doing something I never wanted to do. Being that mom. The one who DEFINES her kids by their current actions.

In a conversation with my mom, or my husband, or my friend I have found myself saying that my kids are BRATS, that they are MEAN, that they are DISOBEDIENT.

Now, we’ve already covered the fact that often times these words would be an honest description of their behavior for the day.

But, the issue is this, by saying these words out loud, in front of my kids, to other people, I AM LABELING MY CHILDREN. I am defining my kids by the action they took for some portion of a specific day. I am describing them by magnifying their flaws, and their shortcomings.

I thought about how I would feel if someone defined me by my sin, by my failures, by my shortcomings. At different times in my life, I surely would be labeled as a FAILURE. A LIAR. A GOSSIP. A BRAT. DISOBEDIENT. UNKIND. ANGRY. MEAN…. And the list could go on.

God has already dealt with my sin, and I am no longer defined by my imperfection. So, why would I choose to define my children in such a way? I discipline my children when they misbehave, we deal with the situation at hand, and after that it’s done. They should no longer be defined by their imperfections.

My intentions, probably just as yours, were NEVER to do this. It’s just something I have caught slipping out of my mouth over time.

Just as I find hope, not in my own righteousness, but in who I am in Christ and how I am defined in God’s eyes, my children should also find hope. They should know without a doubt that although they mess up, their mistakes do not have to define them.

SO today, I choose to define my kids not by their mistakes, but by their good character.

I choose NOT to bring up the things they fail to do well, but to remind them OFTEN of the things they are great at.

I choose to stop speaking the negative, and to speak life over my children.

Today, I challenge you to do the same!

They are human. They have sin. BUT, God made them. They are His.
What can you do today to speak life over your kids?

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”

Romans 6:6 “For we know that our old self was crucified with Him, so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.”


One thought on “Motherhood: Defining Our Kids

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